I am obbsessed....

I think I am obsessed by lilpeep,his music makes me depressed but I can’t stop listening to him,so is my friend, In the states,why so easy to get drugs?how do you know it’s not fake or no? Every musicians died OD,I wanna die too, I used to think killing myself,but on other hand,I wanna do whatever I want to do,I wanna be successful,get married with a right one,and have some kids,since Google Adsense doesn’t work for me,I have to find out other way to make My money in other way,I might write lyrics,sing along with it and upload in YouTube,or maybe dance,when I was dancing on the stage with singer singing a song called American something by off spring,when I finished dancing,someone tapped on my shoulder and he said I was a good dancer,i’ve never learned how to dance,sing I used to learn how to play piano, But I forgot all of it,plus I don’t have a piano anymore,I know I am too old to start learning these things,
But at age of 45, I still don’t know what I want to do in my life,I was lonely but my mom doesn’t listen me but preaching, I know I am not good enough for my parents,so I talked 4 fortune tellers,one of them told me that “ give up having a birth” It was kind shocking,so I called another,she didn’t say if I could have kids or no but it’s ok until 47, I kind have to hurry, I even haven’t finished my business goal,but she told me someone who has warm,big hearted,and caring guy is waiting for you, If I chant” I wish everyone is happy ( she said including me)” so you will be happy,very simple huh? But I still can’t get over lilpeep’s death,too young,too talented,I am scared of going to bed every night,cuz the words you say will be come true, Like lilpeep,I wanna die,i’m dying...if I die...etc,if I sing along his song,I might be obsessed with something,why didn’t he give up drugs?i want too,but I can’t get illegal ones,his life would have been better,still 21, could do anything but drugs but he didn’t wanna give it up,that’s why he is dead,my life has been awful,and I am in a trouble,I have to make it up soon, I want to quit bad habbits,I can’t sleep nights,can’t get up early,I used to be an early bird,but maybe I took different medicine So,things had been changed,see?no one wants me,hates me,they even don’t have pay attention to me,lilpeep said everybody hated him,wrong!everybody loved him and music,I got nothing and no one,just old bum,no guys like me,so if I upload my songs or dancing,everybody thinks I suck! Grrrrr....what should I do with my career,husband and baby? I wanna go to London and Sydney with my family,none of my dreams came true,well I should stop grumbling right now,just being scared,pills work but they don’t put me sleep,good night everyone out there...maybe I walked wrong way? But there are no ways to go back,of course I admire Bill Gates or Mark Zakerberg but I don’t think I wanna be their wives,I am not looking for a perfect guys,I am tend to fall in a love with bad,or not perfect guy,but lilpeep enjoyed getting high,he had huge music fans,he made something...it’s not like me,very boaring world japan is....I wanna move to states if I get rich or marry a rich man,in my dreams,yeah,I know, I am going crazy and frustrated so I gotta go....mighty!

before I go,take a look at my blog,Japan and Japanese I wrote Japanese strange musical,what’s strange? You will see,lilpeep also liked Hello kitty and Japanese anime,he also know the word”hentai”it was impressive,what is Hentai? I can’t say it here,u should search it on yourself.....,