Don’t know why I still have time?

I can’t still get over with lilpeep,he inspired of me something that I will become popular in the states,I know it’s crazy, No money to go school nor states,I gotta start getting a job,hopefully interpreter or middle aged woman model,while I was thinking about becoming a model,I eat sweets,isn’t it strange? I really want to be a model? I asked myself and thinking about loosing Weight,I sing lilpeep’s songs everyday cuz sometimes it’s too fast because it’s rap,I was also wondering I should sing female songs like R&B,seems like many competitions,songs like Mariah Carry,Alicia Keys and Keisha Cole....etc.i also read american(English) Film and I think I can do that but only short part,being a singer or actor,u have to have a good memory,yea,I used to when I was 20,

but not anymore,because of the pills I take,I also have dry mouth which will be a problem if u want to sing or act,oh well,I also write my book which might be shorter I think,I have to put and put more stories,no one buys 3 pages Book! Omg!what am I supposed to do? I even don’t want to remember my past,but my Japanese blog which I teach Japanese English, Many guys were on this blog,I tried to make ebook,but it didn’t work,only iPad can still make my blogs to ebook,but I can’t, I have to try somethingelse then,I also write lyrics and rewrite them,I don’t think they were perfect so I rewrite again,but I have to write another lyrics,can’t find what I have to write,always something in my mind so it’s kind funny....,I used to be (Still?)negative person,I don’t want to give people negative energy,I can’t be positive at one day so I have to block negative energy,lilpeep’s songs are sad,mostly negative,but I am into it,I tried to listen positive music like subminal,so I listen Them both,I was wondering if I am positive or negative? Gotta go,write lyrics and pray....good night!

p.s,should I build up my own website?but I don’t want to be fooled or tricked by a fraud,just scared....,

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